My word of the year

A chosen word to guide and frame my approach to 2024

My happy place. This is often where I go in my head when I meditate.

Instead of choosing New Year’s resolutions and the inevitable guilt and negativity they bring, I like to choose a word of the year.

I picked up this idea from a blogger several years ago (it may have been Jessica at A Simple Letter) and now I see the idea has spread across Substack too! It is wonderful to see as I think this approach is a much kinder and gentler way to reset our compasses each year.

Last year left my poor heart battered and bruised from trauma, grief, anxiety, illness and heartbreak. This year I wish to recover, learn how to carry my grief, find hope and inspiration, as well as create space to heal. So my word for 2024 will be ‘love’. 

Love for my mind

Tackling life with a neurodivergent mind is difficult. I’m still learning about it and how it affects every aspect of my life. I want to continue my journey to accepting it and working with my mind, not against it.

My mental health took a significant downturn at the end of last year. This was likely inevitable with my grief and the pressures of Christmas. But it negatively impacted my physical health and my relationship, contributing to a dark downward spiral.

It’s not a place I want to return to so I want to give my mind the TLC it needs. I plan to create a system of self-care that works for me. I am also considering trying counselling/therapy.

Love for my mind is also about loving who I am now and not feeling beholden to the person I was in the past.

Love for my body 

I’ve had a turbulent relationship with my body over the past few years. Battling with tendonitis flare-ups and chronic pain has often made me bitter and resentful towards my body. Adding a chronic illness to the list at the end of last year was also another challenge I could do without!

This year I want to be grateful for what my body can do as well as accept and respect its limitations. Whilst I still struggle, I have come a long way and I should remember and be proud of that. I want to give my body what it needs, build strength and be healthier.

Love for where I live 

I don’t quite know how to write about this (it needs its own post!) but I struggle with feeling ‘at home’. I love Wales and Cardiff. I like our house, we are lucky to have it. Yet I don’t seem to have that sense of being home. It’s something I have only felt in a couple of places I’ve lived.

Perhaps it is because I am a born-and-bred country girl living in the busy suburbs. Maybe urban living is incompatible with my neurodiversity and the sensitivity that comes with it. Perhaps I unconsciously link where we are now based with my chronic pain and related challenges which began after we moved here.

Whatever the reason(s), it’s something I’d like to work on as moving isn’t an option anytime soon. I want to make our house a more cosy joyful place to live and work. I want to continue to explore Cardiff and the surrounding areas. I wish to make the most of being in this unique beautiful place.

Love for my relationships

I had to set some boundaries last year and make the difficult decision to set aside some friendships that triggered me. Rejection sensitivity is the worst!

I find relationships a challenge so it is something I want to invest in this year with the people (and dog!) that I love.

I also want to surround myself with people who accept me and understand me. Finding other neurodivergent people to be around was one of the few blessings to come out of 2023.

I will also continue to make time and space to love and remember my lost loved one. After all, grief is simply love persevering.

Love for the life I’m building 

This is about continuing to create a life that aligns with my values. I aim to crystallise my values in written form and create habits that will help me embody them every day.

My dear friend Ally, a chronic illness and wellness advocate, believes there are four pillars to building a happy healthy life. Her fourth pillar is inspiration, which I feel fits in here. It’s about that spark that ignites our souls, what makes us feel alive. For me, that’s adventure, nature and creativity.

If you’re on social media and are interested in living with chronic conditions and mental health, I recommend following her!

I want to make sure I build inspiration into my life every day.

And one Big Hairy Audacious Goal!

I know I said I don’t do New Year’s resolutions and this sounds a lot like one. But I was inspired by Jessica at How to ADHD to pick a Big Hairy Audacious Goal (BHAG) this year.

For those of us with ADHD, having an exciting and ridiculous ambition can be far more motivational than a SMART goal. We also set BHAGs for our programmes at the environmental charity where I work and I do find it a more inspirational way to drive us forward.

My BHAG is to walk the 10-mile Horseshoe Ridge hike by the end of the year. It’s the most difficult hike of the four that feature Pen Y Fan (the highest mountain in South Wales). But also the most impressive.

Considering the fact I was in pain after a two-mile walk at Christmas, this goal really is big, hairy and likely impossible! But I am excited by it. And often when you aim for the moon, you end up reaching the clouds.

This goal encapsulates all the areas of my life I want to work on. I will need a strong healthy body and mind to achieve it. It will be an adventure, a way to connect with and appreciate the beauty of nature close to where I live. And I hope to do it with my partner and my dog at my side.

I also love and will continue to love all of you, who are here reading and supporting my words despite my hiatuses last year. I am so grateful for my subscribers and for being able to find connections with fellow writers/readers here on Substack.

Have you chosen a word, phrase or BHAG for 2024? Or perhaps a resolution? I’d love to hear yours and why you chose them.